Simple life, complicated actions

2008-10-25T22:05:00.000-07:00

I just dont complain when it comes to movies. But, I am gonna cry from the top of the roof now. I have been cheated of hard earned money. This you might call my open letter to Manchu Manoj.

I had bought the tickets of Nenu Meeku Telusa with the hope that this one represents the new era of telugu cinema. Alas! this was new, but not in the way I expected.

Let me count the positives first,

Cinematography is perhaps the best I have seen from a name not heard much. It was mesmerising at times, the color combinations, the angles created for few songs. Music, oh dear, this boy is talented. And I hope tollywood takes a liking to him. I just cannot get enough of it. Manchu Manoj, so much about the guys getting in shape and flaunting it in nonsensical stunts. And this guy does it without letting it veer away from acting.

And that ends there.

It was more of a pop album with dialogue interspersed rather than a movie. Did you hire someone for screenplay? It jumps to scenes without caring much about connectivity, was this a documentary? Did you hire an editor? I loved the cinematography, but why would you go for overkill? Why create multiple screen shots that have no impact? Shoot the guy who wrote the screenplay. Spoofs have a limited impact, they cant be the only source of humor. Shoot the screenplay guy, yet again. You call this a thriller, and build towards that is an anti-climax? How did you allow yourself to be at the mercy of two creatures anorexic and half weighted as a pistol towards the end? And to sum up how would you remember being chased by the goons the previous day after having had a good day sleep?

It was not meant to discourage you, but I wish there was more time spent on penning a screenplay and having a sequence thereon, deserving more time perhaps than that spent on scouting for locations, the wooden anorexic girls called actress, and perhaps getting that physique of yours.

2008-09-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Finally, being truthful:

I find this quite an irony, but so seems to be life. I have always hated anything remotely close to being philo, so is not what I am. I have moved on in life in every way that I can fathom and I realise that so have you, ever since we parted. I have been crazily good and happy all the days. But,

I fail to understand one part of life. Why did we have to get together so fast and end it so fast when something seemed to happen, before something could. And why should I ponder over it even two years after it did, at this hour of a day, when all I seek is a peaceful sleep, the stone sleep devoid of any snore that I am used to.

I am told that I come up with a reason for everything, and I laugh to hear that. It reminds me of one situation for which I fail to find a reason. And I believe you being smart enough to know what it is.

I hope you do not take this the wrong way and I pray such hope is not against hope. All I want to say is, it hurts every time to think that I had treated a wonderful girl in a manner which she never would deserve, and perhaps never gave the consideration or expressed in the right manner of the true emotion I had (have). I am not into going back to a thing of past and being guilt ridden, I can perhaps never be. But,

It does hurt. And it does not seem to subside.

It does not seem to matter if it is a day of activity, day of fun, day of work, all it seems to matter is, that the thought or perhaps the emotion has never deserted. And more importantly, it does not make me sad. It brings a dutiful smile, that others call as the trademark of mine. It tells me of a day that I owned a dream, which was truly rich, fragrant, and beautiful. I live a dream today that is no less beautiful. But,

It is not the same.

Quite an emotional outpour, something that is as true as fiction if it was usual for what I am. But,

This is not usual. This is the rare true self of that I am, one that the rarest amongst rarest has witnessed, which not many might in a day later than this.

-----

Yet again my memory fails me when it comes to the essentials, phone numbers and email ids. Where the mail took no more than a minute perhaps, the address took no less than ten of them. Thanks heaven, I was not into deleting texts or mails in a day of past.

2008-09-12T11:21:00.001-07:00

Is it for real? I seek and ask myself again.
I seem to fail get over a part of the past.
Everytime I try do it, it ends up being
a stronger emotion than it earlier was

Of how long it had lasted before it ended
has been an irrelevant fact ever since

2008-09-10T11:23:00.000-07:00

A memoir of past, a leaf that never blossomed again and remained dry and wrought, perhaps that will never be same again:

Times when I feel alone, I look around to find no one, except her.
It is her alone, no one else and I would do anything to live life alone with her, for there is nothing called life without her.

2006-12-31T19:45:00.000-08:00

It snapped again and went off much quicker than the earlier ones.
Did it surprise me this time? Yes, it did.
That it snapped did not surprise me but the way it did.

Tying a knot I did not realize that threads around me were weak
When it actually began, it was catastrophic, a chain reaction.
Thread after thread snapped, leaving few around in no time
yet I did not give up, for there were those in which I had faith
and yet it snapped and when it did I see patience wear out
as does the confidence on the threads around.

For once I realize, it was plain stupidity to tie a knot
where everything was and is beautiful without one
yet I see a struggle for the urge to resurface, for
what has ever remained constant about life was and is
hope, though unfounded and insane, yet it fuels life.

2006-12-28T09:15:00.000-08:00

What seemed as a path illuminated turned out to be a dark alley, the lanterns are no more there.
Few of them disappeared, few of them broke apart and few refuse to prove their life.
Yet, I clung on for there were those, which never seemed to fade away and yet they did.
When they did, they left me in the dark, darkness surrounded by murderous silence.

I am in the dark
yet I can see, a path.
There is silence all over,
yet I can hear, a whisper.

I can see a path in the dark, different from the one illuminated by lanterns
and I seem to love it for the path is the way I want it to be.
I can hear a whisper in the silence around, a whisper barely audible until now
and when heard it seemed like mind met the heart, finally.

2006-12-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

I feel shallow inside for what has been so integral so long has vanished.

Yet, I don't feel the pain, I don't feel the anguish,
for I can never emote as I used to,
for the only one that could trigger an emotion has vanished.

On a stranger side, I feel lighter
for I have nothing more to lose
for all I could lose has been lost.

2006-10-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

Surrounded by People, alone I am
for the voice has turned silent.

--

It is the weak who run away, who disappear
I am here to stay for I am no weak.

--

The passion's been there as it always has been
for any attempt to contain would turn fuel.

2006-10-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

One's pain is as great as his expectations are.

I am not sad but I am, waiting for the call that never came.

I am not sad but I am, waiting for the message that never came.

I am not sad but I am, waiting and I am waiting, willing to wait further.

I am not sad but I am.

2006-08-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

I dont deny that I lie. I do and I do it with a lot of people. Only common thing among them is I dont care for them and I dont want them to know a lot of truth about me, which I keep to myself.

But, I dont lie. I dont lie with people I love. I dont lie with people I care. I dont lie with people who are more than an integral part of my life.

It hurts when people whom I love dont really trust me. It hurts when people whom I care about dont really talk the truth to me. It hurts when people who claim that they love me dont really intend to say that.

I lie but I dont lie. I lie but I dont lie when it hurts people. I lie but I dont lie when it plays with others emotions. I lie but I dont lie when it starts affecting one's trust on people.

2006-04-30T14:10:00.000-07:00

I cried today and there were no tears, there were none.

I realize I was crying, it had to come out some day and may be it was this day. I never held them back so long.

Once I was sure I wasnt crying any more, I asked myself why were there no tears.

I realized there were none coz I was happy. Yes, I am happy for what I have done and for what my life is today coz of what I have done.

There is no place for tears in my life, a very happy life.

2006-03-19T23:45:00.000-08:00

Patience was my forte, for long time now, but I seem to lose it gradually. People complain about my impatience towards lot of things.

For those who complain about my impatience towards them, here is some trivia:

I am impatient about people I brand as losers and when I say that, it is absolute, I mean it.

I am impatient about those who crib about someone who has supposedly fucked up their lives. They need to realize they have let others do it, its better face it and correct it rather than crib about it, blaming others.

I am impatient about those who are lazy, avoid work and relish blaming the system for their lack of success. For me they are no better than prostitutes suffering from AIDS, who solicit clients despite of knowledge about the disease. They spread a virus and need to be shot.

I am impatient about those who fuck up their lives trying to do a favor for those around them and crib later for long time to come. Life has taught one good lesson, I live for none other than myself.

If you do not fall in any of the categories above and I was still impatient with you, you must be an absolute loser. Don’t crib anymore; I don’t give a fuck.

2006-03-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

For larger part of my life I hesitated quite often than not to say these two magical words to many deserving people, Fuck Off.

For all those concerned about me more than themselves, don't do that unless I expect you to. There are few whom I expect to be concerned about me and they are sure about it. All others, please, give me a break. If you don't get it straight even after this, I have only one thing for you. Fuck Off.

2006-03-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

One day the truth hits me hard and I realize, yeah, it was always true. Hurting those who have hurt me is immensely satisfying.

For long time I believed, one gets according to what he gives; anything wrong would hit them back. I realize, Loser I was believing in such cinematic stuff.

Once I have given it back with due interest, I realize how fun it is and how great it feels. Two down, more to go. Its real fun and it has just started.

2006-02-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

Was planning to write until I read

this

Loved it. Will write later.

2006-02-21T02:11:00.000-08:00

Frustration seems to creep in, when people tend to be different from what you expect them to.

Why is it so that only certain people get closer to one and the rest seem not to be in the same league? One reason might be their attitude, their thinking and their reciprocation to one’s actions. This behavior tends to make those certain people, that extra special, who at times are termed as best friends.

However, people seem to be frustrated most of the times with their best friend rather than with others. People cite the reason as sense of belongingness, which lets them vent their frustrations on them. However, this does not seem to be a reason enough. Why do they have to be frustrated with people who are that extra special.

One reason might be that those do not behave or react in a way they are expected to be. It seems to be very natural that one builds up expectations about people whom he terms close / “best” friends. It is a different thing that many a people do not realize being close is a two-way affair and the initiative has to be at both ends. Coming back to expectations, it is easily forgotten that one does not behave in a rational or expected manner, at all times, for various reasons.

People seem to forget this simple thing and build up frustrations and gain nothing but loss of valuable energy and time, which could have been employed for better purpose.

2006-02-10T03:04:00.000-08:00

Anger, why do people get angry with those who love them so dearly?

Anger seems to be the major catalyst for misutilization of valuable energy. But, why do we get angry? Anger seems to be a result of frustration, which could be caused by several reasons. One of those reasons seems to be misunderstanding between two loved ones.

Loved ones and misunderstanding, something seems to be inappropriate. For purists, yes and others, no.

Why do we get angry with our loved ones? Reasons might be listless but there is only one solution, a simple chat. Five minutes of conversation could make tons of frustration disappear in less than a second.

Here lies the catch. How many would spend that small time rather than vent out frustrations to cause major damage to one’s relationship. Not many and of this I am sure. This leads to further frustration.

There are people in catch 22 situation too. Poor souls who are ignorant about the reasons for their partners’ anger and even worse when they are expected to cajole being ignorant about the reasons. There cannot be a better catch 22 situation than that.

Everyone under the sun is sure of what is written above and no one is an exception from above said behavior. As said, man is a slave of his ego; he would call any different behavior a utopian scenario.

2006-02-09T04:18:00.000-08:00

A lie is what has brought it so far.

Why lie? A good question indeed.

Answer is much simpler than it seems to be, its what people want.

People seem to have more patience for a lie, more appetite for a lie and much more eagerness for a lie. Deep down they do know that more than half of what they hear, what pleases them are lies. They prefer throwing a blanket on their inner self, which shouts at them “why do you let yourselves, surrender meekly to those lies.” Ego has its say, false pride has its say and in such world common sense has no relevance.

It’s a world driven by forces of demand and supply. People are dished out what they want and that’s precisely the reason they get to hear more and more lies, something that pleases them.

Dare to go against the stream mid way? All the lies that you have said so far would come back to haunt. This is what has happened precisely. All the lies come back to haunt. How long can one be what he is not to please others? Not for long enough.

The conclusion seems to be simple; better not lie at all. Well, well, well, this seems to be a more classic lie than any thing else.

As said, forces of demand and supply drive the world, more and more lies would be dished out, willingly or unwillingly, and history would repeat itself again. It’s a big bloody vicious circle; you escape one to get into another. There is no escape.

But, why dare to go against the stream midway, why not start that way?

Answer is much simpler, there is no answer.

2006-02-08T00:17:00.000-08:00

This post might not be very appropriate when Raven sees what is to come on this blog in future. However, Raven’s narrow path is uncommon and what is not appropriate is perception, a perception that might change any time.

He met many people in whole 21 (24) years before; being uncommon he remembers acquaintances since he was a 3 year old.

One thing he has scandalously pulled off has been letting people not realize he considers very few as friends. This revelation in its true sense with complete details might hurt many people. However, there have been people who had a huge influence on his life. Ironic, all of them are girls. This revelation might spark off a comment from friends that Raven was always biased towards the fairer sex.

Girl 1: AJ

If it were not AJ, Raven would have been a different guy from what he is. She has put the much-needed brakes to his madness. His first love, time spent with AJ would be fresh in memory forever. Much ironic is that the only reason Raven introduced himself to AJ was to know her three beautiful roommates. Life indeed is strange.

Girl 2: PD

Love is not always about expecting it in return. This was what PD has taught Raven. If there was any person to be called the biggest influence on Raven, it has to be PD. If ever Raven would miss a person, it is PD. Unfortunate, PD chose to distance herself from Raven for sake of the guy she is in love with. Much unfortunate, the guy was one time best friend of Raven.

Girl 3: PK

Maturity is a mask that people need to shed at times to realize the beauty of life. If it were not PK, Raven would never have realized what he did to himself in the pretext of being matured. One who loses their childish streak is a lost soul in this mechanical merciless world. Raven says, life without PK is no way as beautiful as it is with her.

Three girls Raven loves, these are people whom he calls his best friends.